Why I Bother?

Someone one keeps on asking me,  with irritation in here voice, words to the effect, " why do you bother?  Why do you feel you have to change the world?"  She asked me this months ago and I could not respond.  I know my conscious intent isn't to change the world.  I do know that whatever knowledge I have I want to impart .  I do know I want to make this country, Trinidad and Tobago better.  As a matter of fact any country in which I live, I want to give to the fullest.  Early one Sunday morning my response formed and I preferred not to answer my friend directly rather,  to ease my mind, I wrote my answer on Facebook.  Now, I re-print here.
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I talk with everybody. I talk with people on the bus - the older woman who tells me that she has only visited the U.S. once and it sure doesn't touch TnT, the young man whose eyes warm when he speaks of his daughter of 2 years. I discuss politics with the old men; they tell me that I must have 'belly' to survive to their ages. I chat with the guy in front of me in the line. I greet the cashier and thank the bagger, sometimes I get a response, often not, but that does not stop me from greeting another cashier, another bagger, another time.


Profound discussions are held with taxi drivers and clerical officers,while I wait my turn, the gas station attendants, the snooty bank personnel (who you realize are indeed human), the lady selling seasoning, the white-haired lady who remembers my name when her mind is calm but does not remember me in church because the mind has gone, nevertheless, we pray as one body, the young man whose mother has died and there is now, no-one to help him through his mental health problems (we give each other 'a bounce'). Most of the time it is a pretty even-handed, laughter-filled, satisfying chat. Many times I learn something. I even talk with the vagrant whose touched me as I passed by.  I probably would not have seen him save for that 'butterfly touch' he gave my hand. He awakened me to what was paining me deep inside that, someone can become faceless, can be not seen, can be unconsciously judged and rejected as quickly as we snap our fingers.


I talk with everybody because I'm interested in people, sometimes because I want to teach the young manners by example, most times it is because the young are so filled with vibrancy: have you noticed the beautiful smiles of our young when they deign to smile? I talk with people because I want to acknowledge the humanity in them and me. I hope that in some way I convey that I see you, I acknowledge you and respect you for just being.


In this scary little land in which I live, I talk to people so as to feel safe. In this barbed wire society, where we get cut, it scars over and we get nicked in the same spot, I talk with everybody to reinforce in my mind that trust still exists, that we black, brown, white, yellow and all the colours that can be created by our multiple races pool, can still love (agapé) each other and live harmoniously. I talk with everybody because the business of living can be tough. I talk with everybody because I believe in us.