I Miss You Much

I have to leave this house which I have called home for 26 years.  You see it was never my house but this neighbourhood made it my home.  Already I am missing the warmth and love and care of my neighbours:  the reason I have stayed in this lower-middle class neighborhood: this neighbourhood our politicians call a ‘hot spot’!    O’ yes, I aspired to own my own little piece of property and for that I have worked hard but it seems not smart, because I still do not have it.

This four (4) blocks area has been a place where from the start people shared in my delight of being in love, shared in the pain of my many losses – husband, jobs, and betrayals by friends.  This is the place where others encouraged me to achieve and were proud when I did.  Are there other places, my mind asks, where I can rest assured that my dog will be fed, my yard kept trimmed and lights snapped on if I am not there to do these things?  Will anyone call on me with a warm plate of food just because she saw the tiredness as I trudged home from a day of work, or looking for work?  Will I find another space where someone waits up to ensure that I am home safe and sound, and I never knew that night after night this was done?  Whose helping me and whom am I helping when sickness or death strikes?   While it may sound as if we're always together in truth were are not in each other's homes frequently,we just do a good job of caring for each other.

I am  already missing the wider neighborhood; the young men and women who have grown old along with me, their babies who are now, the young men and women we once were.  True some of us have never spoken more than a hello or good morning but those few words over time have brought about an almost familial camaraderie.  This is a neighbourhood where at one point all you had to do was walk up to the house of the local scoundrel and ask back for your things.   This is a neighbourhood where we are glad to see you when you come back to visit from abroad and share in the pride of your successes.  We have our neighbourhood watch and you don’t know that they are watching, because there is no signage.

I feel like a dog spinning after its own tail, but it's no fun.  You see I am losing a family.   I will miss you
much.



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