Falling Leaves

An old friend of mine, a relative really, is spending the weekend with me.  Actually she is spending 2 nights and 1 day since she is heading out today, Sunday, to spend time with her friend who is celebrating her birthday with a tea party.  It has been a bit of a taxing period, these 2 nights and 1 day because as she puts it " I cannot tell Monday from Friday".  So while I should be in church this morning, she has awakened feeling very confused and embarassed and also a bit angry with herself for those previously described states, thus I sit with her as the dawn breaks, hoping my presence may act as a calmative.  

I had an older friend who would relate to me what her mother once told her, that is, and here I paraphrase, that you should get rid of your bad habits before you get old or else they would rule you and ruin your life and that of those around you.  That would mean that I have to work on building my self-confidence and getting rid of my temper - big jobs indeed - Phew!  

And so here it is that my relative, who was always absent-minded and truly used to be quite irritated if she were 'gently prodded' or 'angrily poked' at to "try to remember",  is worried because she cannot recall what medications and the times she should be taking this morning or  the fact that she has to meet her friend and they'll go to Sunday Mass together and then prepare for the afternoon's event.  No amount of  words of reassurance that taking them in the incorrect sequence just once would not harm her or that I shall call her sister, a little later on this morning to get the correct sequence is setting her mind at ease.  So round and round we go...medication and church and party,  as I explain deliberately and gently the processes again and again. 

This can be an anger-forming experience telling the same tale over and over but the other part of the experience is showing compassion and keeping in mind that I too, in the near future, will go through some aspect of the ageing process.  My strength, both physical and mental,  will lose their constancy and that scares me because I have no one on whom I may call and no money to pay for calling someone.  But my fears are not the point of this writing.  The focus of  my thoughts at this time is our preparation for old age.  

In getting prepared for old age, and from this weekend's occurence, I've added a few more things to my bucket list.  Take a look at what I've put in.

Falling leaves taken from:http://images.wallpapersmela.com/2014/01/Wallpaper-blue-sky-falling-leaves.jpg

• Rid myself of the emotions and habits that cause me pain and that especially those that may cause pain to others. Yes, to others because after all it is them who will bear the brunt of our anger, silliness, forgetfulness, stubborness, pettiness, mingyness (no, that's not a word, but you get what I mean), sullenness, bloodmindedness or as we say in Trinidad and Tobago, bad-mindedness, vainness. Shall I go on with the 'esses' or have you gotten the picture?    
• Cultivate and cherish friendships.  As as we grow older friendship too, will dwindle and twirl away like drying leaves falling from a tree.  
• Deepen my interest in those things in which I have an interest.  I like writing poetry, so I need to make time to create poems and to learn how to write them well.  If you like a bit of gardening-you know the drill'-get gardening!
• Awaken my curiosity in new, different and challenging things.  I have a friend who told me that she wants to act.  I'm looking forward to being the first in line to buy a ticket when she gets herself up on that stage and does a bit of amateur acting.
• Try my very best to consider my ageing as an 'Elder Spring' (a play on the 'Arab Spring') into a different realm of existence; a new imaging, so to speak.  This is going to be difficult but if I work towards the mindset that new things will crop up, then perhaps it may be easier to accept along the way.

What are you adding to your Bucket List in terms of growing old and in what ways  shall you handle it?

Taken from: http://killough.us/?p=2925

So, as I re-pack her suitcase-for 2 nights and 1 day away from home-containing 4 nightgowns, 5 changes of undergarments, 2 T-shirts, 3 tops, 4 dresses, 2 pairs of panty-hose, 1 and 1/2 pairs of socks, 2 sets of shoes, 1 cologne and 1 perfume, toothbrush, toothpaste, nail polish and all the other accoutrements that we women use, I lovingly remember those far-gone days when I would ask of her and I would receive and I pray that she receives what she has silently asked of me today: my help, my affection, my love. 

The original 'Autumn Leaves' sung by Yves Montand:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xo1C6E7jbPw

Being a lover of jazz musis...check out Miles Davis' rendition of 'Autumn Leaves'   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsp5OASh7bg