Merry Christmas


I think for all of us especially those of us who actively celebrate the birth of Christ, Christmas becomes a time of warm feelings,  giving of one’s self in particular through gifts, and of reflection through tradition.  The house must look beautiful, and the foods have to be all present.  Where there are children, big and small, there is an especial joy of passing on family values.   One can see throughout the Christmas season the simple exchanges of love as a knowing smile is shared between strangers as they pass, each laden with packages; the smile saying “Christmas!  Phew, lots of work, I understand, we love it “.

For me, the reflective side of Christmas always dominates.  It is a time of even more thinking than is usual for me and a time of forced hibernation.  My mind hibernates for the last quarter of the year.  I have  concluded that occurs, because I was born during this season (December 30th )  and I imagine that within the womb I was preparing for my new beginning, looking whimsically at my watery home and somehow knowing that soon it would not be part of me.  Yes, the soul knows.  I can actually feel my bones changing and my skin expanding each and every fall/winter of my life.   Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) in all its forms!   In any event, let me get back to reflection and Christmas and Christ and God in action.

My father has been dead for 23 years and for many years after I did not realize that I was depressed about losing him.  Over time I have come to a place where I never think of him and I feel no emotion when others speak of him. Is that good?  Is that bad?  I don’t bother to contemplate.   But somewhere during this season of Christmas a thought of my father will come bursting to the fore!  Sometimes, it is triggered by a Christmas carol or the action of making the rum punch, in the quiet dawn hours, as he would often do and many times it comes from no conscious thought at all.  The thought of Daddy just comes rushing forward like a "mind-tsunami", inundating all for the moment.  This is the first year since that thought pattern has been occurring, that it has not come with an unforeseen rush of tears instead a sweet, joyous, somewhat melancholy feeling came.  Let me tell you what brought it on.  MasterCard Trinidad and Tobago asked its facebook audience about its priceless memories of Christmas and what follows came to mind.

Every year we would have a guest for Christmas.  Often it would be someone with no family in Trinidad and Tobago.   Sometimes, it would be one of my father’s colleagues, or an old person who would otherwise be alone.  It was wonderful time of sharing and laughter and learning for me: I was always curious and listened carefully to conversations.   One of our guests would always be a young orphan; a young boy, my step-brother's age, would spend the Christmas holiday season with us.  The little boy would arrive clinging to his care-giver and sobbing bitterly uttering "ah doh want ta stay!"  "Nooo, take me back!"   We would all utter words of comfort, and hug him tightly while the care-giver left.

After 3 weeks of being part of the family: helping to clean the house and yard, shopping, eating,  wrapping gifts, going for drives to watch the colourful lights decorating people's homes and businesses, playing and we all three children, jumping into bed with the parents to watch TV, read the newspapers or just eat the black cake BEFORE Christmas (not me or my step-mother, cake-eating was Daddy and the boys),  the little boy would be as we say here in sweet TnT (Trinidad and Tobago, for the uninitiated) “like saltfish… in everyting”.    When the care-giver arrived to take the young boy back, the Sunday before school opened, there would be loud sobs accompanied by the words "ah do want ta go!"  "Uncle JB, leh me stay, O’ God, no!"  One actually climbed the curtains in an attempt to get away from the care-giver!    The scene would play out with my father being  sad and teary-eyed, my step-brother crying also, begging the parents to please let the little boy stay, my step-mother  caressing  the backs of both little boys to soothe them.

We always stayed in touch and those boys, my stepbrother and the orphans, visited each other over many school holidays until young adult-hood.  Priceless...sharing the wonder and joy of Christmas with others; seeing God in action, year after year.   I miss you my Daddy.

 Merry Christmas and God bless you all!

Comments

  1. Merry Christmas J!
    The year 2012 was one which I could sum up with an except of Psalm 23 v 5. ...... my cup runneth over. I was truly blessed. Good health, consultancy work, weddings of my daughter, one niece and one nephew and reconnection with YOU. All joy, joy, joy.
    Christmas for me is not just celebrating the birth of Christ and exchanging gifts, and other regular undertakings. It is manifestation of the Holy Spirit of The Almighty in action. As a Christian and a Spiritualist, I am fascinated by the stories about Elizabeth, Simeon and Anna in Luke 1 v 36 - 46 and Luke 2 v 25 - 38.
    I firmly believe and experience the Holy Spirit in action in my life today. I have also observed it in action in the lives of my family and friends. Many people do not have the good fortune of understanding the way of God. I have learnt a great deal in the past year and I am eager to grow spiritually in the coming year.
    You mentioned missing your dad especially now. It is a normal occurrence and you should embrace the feeling and you should talk to him when you pray because his spirit is with you. You must allow him to guide you and support you. God bless him. You may be interested to know that I sense the presence of my parents, grandparents, brothers, friends and relatives who have passed on. I sense their presence continually. I involve them in all my undertakings. Their spirits are part of the multitudes of forces that the Lord deploys to help, defend, support and watch over us. In short, life after death is real. We will chat about this some more in the new year.
    Our plans to visit Canada and TnT mid next year are steadily moving forward. We are considering some dates in late May early June. We would so much love to see you.
    May your Christmas be full of joy, laughter, love and many blessings of the Lord Almighty.

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  2. Took 5 mins from the job to read your article. Very funny interesting and yes cool. I wish we all could be with you to fill that void. Never fear I know some are home in T/T and will be with you and the rest of us will be with you in spirit. I wish that your Dad could be there also. Never let the moments go.

    Please continue with your Blog in the New Year I almost felt you had given it up. Believe me when I say reading what you write is very touching to me.

    Have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!! I look forward to chatting with you before the year is out. Your blip shows Phoenix tonight yep that's me at work

    Please take care,

    Friend from Tucson,Az.

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